Neowitch

Disney's "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" Crack Commentary - Part II [Warning! The following commentary is not nearly as funny as the first one and Clopin is not specified by name.] After we are told once again the title of the movie we're watching, we see Quasimodo doing a Tarzan impression and jump on screen. Apparently some 20 years have passed since the events of the flashback shown minutes before. But wait a second! Rewind if you must. Notice something? Disney seriously expects us to buy that this light-skinned, red-haired guy is the son of a dark-skinned, black-haired gypsy...!? I heard they had their own law of gravity but I never knew

Disney's "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" Crack Commentary - Part I The movie starts with bell ringing and an obligatory church choir. Yeah, the title says something about Notre Dame, doesn't it? For those without a general education, that's a big church in Paris, France. So this movie is about some ugly guy living in a Christian, no worse, a Catholic church in the country of frog eaters and threesomes? Sweet! Most atheists and non-Christians will probably switch to another youtube-vid at this point. Everybody else is rewarded with a really nifty tracking shoot of the bell towers above the clouds and- wait! What? Above the clouds? Le gasp!

What is HoND about anyway? Paris's Minister of Justice, a racist jerk called Frollo, accidently kills a gypsy woman. Fearing heaven's wrath, and with the Archdeacon pulling at his skirts, he reluctantly adopts the woman's disfigured newborn and names him Quasimodo. He locks the boy up in the bell tower of Notre Dame and forbids him to ever leave. Well, sucks to be him... Some 20 years later Quasi decides to sneak outside in order to party and attends the festival of fools which is conveniently held right on the square in front of the church. In the midst of the celebration he stumbles into a gypsy girl called Esmeralda, who later shows off